Thoughts on love

I have been thinking about this a lot lately and tonight seems an especially appropriate night to discuss relationships in which we associate love. Whether they be romantic relationships, familial relationships, or friendships, we all have wants, and we all give some part of ourselves to show that we love another person, even with the relationships we have with ourselves.

What do you give to a relationship?(Name 3 things) I know that I am willing to and try to always give unconditional love, my loyalty and constant support/encouragement.

What do you want from your relationships?(3 things) I acknowledge that I want understanding, validation/reassurance about who I am and what I do, as well as commitment.

To me those things apply to all kinds of relationships and I'm sure many people feel the same.

Tonight I was told of a book I plan to buy called The 5 Love Languages. I suppose it deals with the ways in which each individual expresses the love they have for others, through:
1. Acts of service
2. Giving of Quality time
3. Physical Touch
4. Words of affirmation
5. Giving and Receiving of gifts.

The problem is that an individual cannot know how you express your love for them unless you make them aware (or they have read a similar book ha). So many who are in relationships walk past each other or are on different wave lengths and fail to see the love they are expressing for each other. It is important to consider that because something is a valuable act to you doesn't mean it is the same for another. This is why many times our "give lists", and our "want lists" are the SAME even if the words seem slightly different (my give list holds the same ideals but with stronger words than my wants, because I give more than I expect to receive. and that is okay with me). We can only give what we understand someone might want, and we may only know that from our own wants unless it is addressed.

So ask youself, how do you show love to those you care for, be them a lover, a sister/brother or a best friend (or maybe a best friend/sister all in one!)? Are you able to see the ways they show their love for you? Have you ever considered that love is shown in so many ways that often we miss the little acts that mean so much to someone else?

I hope that those who I love dearly know I love them. It is so important to me that people know I love them that I go out of my way to show them in a variety of ways. From quality time, to services (like throwing parties!) to buying them gifts, and sometimes simply telling them how amazing, and important they are to me.

But one thing I believe we all hardly consider is ourselves. We try everyday to show people we love that we really do love them, with a phone call or a card in the mail, a kiss when they get home from work, or filling up their gas tank just because. But do we validate and unconditionally love ourselves as we do for others (I know I don't always)? Why not? Do you acknowledge that what you need from others, is something you also must give yourself?

So tell me:
How many times do you compliment other people in a day?( a lot right?) And how many times do you compliment yourself?(hardly ever if ever. I know i don't compliment myself either on physical or internal characteristics). BUT WHY? How good would it feel to remind yourself that you love you and that YOU ARE AWESOME?

If you had a friend who treated and talked to you the way you treat yourself would you be friends with them?

So over all - one thing I've learned recently is that even something that seems meaningless can be an important act of love from another person. And something I do may seem meaningless to another even if to me it shows I care. And sometimes it's good to remember, that we all love in different ways. But regardless... we should try to be aware of how we all express love- so we know we are loved, and that we do love. And then take a second to love ourselves.